Edits have begun

Guess I found time for a "custom" theme...

Not custom, as in built from scratch, but I've edited the heck out of the base one I'm using. Hopefully it's not too dark for everyone to read, and if it is, let me know and I'll increase the contrast. Also, now I know how to use Google Fonts! Nifty site.

Anyway, I'll be posting some of my older writings today, so I apologize for the incoming spam!

In Between

Originally posted: May 30, 2019

*Adapted from this Tumblr post

This is something I’ve felt for years but never had the presence of mind to put into words, until now. I've identified as as draconic for the past 20 years or so, but I've also been painfully aware that what I'm feeling is filtered through my upbringing as a human. I also realize we don't actually know what draconic behavior is, since dragons aren't exactly living here on earth. However, based on media portrayal and generally just what feels right, I have what I think are draconic traits, but they vary in strength at any given time, and what I feel is acceptable draconic behavior is most certainly viewed through a human lens. Not only that, but there are a good number of things I feel a dragon would naturally do that I highly doubt I could stomach here as a human. I may have urges to do "draconic" things, but with my human body and human senses, I don't think I could handle living solely like a dragon would, even if it were somehow physically and socially possible to do so.

Also, even though I feel urges to do non-human things, I can’t keep them up for long before I revert back to generally human behavior. Is it because these things are hard enough to do for a human that my discomfort overrides my non-human behavior, or is it because I got whatever it was out of my system and my human self has taken back over? I have no idea. Regardless, it makes me feel far more lazy and human than I’m comfortable with.

I’ve often lamented to myself that if I were ever to hang out with a group of actual dragons, that I’d be out of place because I’ve been raised as a human and likely wouldn’t know the habits or customs of an actual dragon. But, I feel out of place as a human too. I've masqueraded successfully as a human for my entire life, but that doesn't make human customs, rationality, and behavior any less foreign to me. I feel like I’m sitting uncomfortably between worlds, without a way to fully reach one or the other. I doubt this will change. I'm obviously not going to be able to find a dragon to adopt me and teach me their ways, nor can I simply drop my non-humanity. It's an integral part of me, and identities cannot be dropped at will.

Faking and Doubt

Originally posted: November 28, 2018

Even though I’ve identified as draconic for over two decades now, I still have the occasional moment where I seriously doubt my identity. My memory is generally quite good, but I remember how my identity manifested after I discovered the alterhuman community a lot better than I can remember how I felt before that point, and I occasionally get to worrying that I just had an affinity for dragons as a kid and forced an identity on myself once I discovered what otherkin and therians were.

I had the chance to go through some of my childhood belongings recently and I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to see all the drawings I did of myself as a dragon. I generally don’t worry about my identity that much as far as gender and sexuality go, so I try to tell myself my species identity isn’t that big of a deal either. Still, I’ve definitely found myself worrying about my species identity over the years and it’s so incredibly soothing to know what I’m feeling has been with me all along. It was never just a phase, and for me at least, it never really came in waves either…it was always in the background of my life, affecting how I thought, and what kind of art I made, what I bought, etc. It was there, for sure, and even if I can’t remember how I felt everyday of my childhood, seeing this stuff shows me I definitely identified as nonhuman since I was a child.

For those of you doubting, don’t worry. Even if you are doubting your identity, it means you’re thinking about it, and that’s something not everyone can say they do. If you end up being wrong, that’s fine! At least you took the time to explore yourself, and hopefully you learned a little about yourself along the way. For those of you who ultimately are alterhuman, I hope you find a moment of peace with your identity like I have, whether its finding you were alterhuman all along, confirming your kintype after so many years of searching, or whatever else it may be.

Misconceptions

Originally posted: January 14, 2016

*Adapted from 30 Days of Otherkin Challenge

Otherkin are extremely easy to misunderstand, especially from an outsider’s point of view, and as a result, have become the butt end of many a joke. Honestly, it’s understandable, considering otherkinity is a very off-the-wall identity. However, there have been so many people trolling the otherkin community over the years (and I’d argue as otherkin become more visible online that this has only increased in frequency), that stories upon stories have been fabricated about the weird things otherkin do, and have subsequently passed around the dark corners of the internet. Of course, there are people out there who take these stories to be 100% true, and have a vastly flawed view of what otherkin are really like. So, with that, I’d like to clear up a misconception or two.

One misconception I’d like to clear up is that otherkin are crazy or fantasy obsessed. From my experience, a lot of otherkin are very reasonable people…people you’d consider pretty normal. Every community is going to have their weirdos, non-human communities included, but it seems a vast majority of people who identify as non-human are the kind of everyday people you’d meet walking down the street. Kind people. Intelligent people. Even successful and motivated people.

Those few otherkin I have known that did have “issues” had problems not because they identified as a non-human, but because they had classifiable disorders unrelated to their otherkinity. Otherkin can be mentally ill. Many are. However, that doesn’t mean that otherkinity and mental illness are mutually inclusive, or that one causes the other. Comments saying that otherkin are messed up and need help are common, and I’m sure there are otherkin that do have “issues”, whatever your definition of issues may be. However, I know a number of people (including family members, friends, and siblings of friends) who do not identify as non-human who are far more “messed up” than any otherkin I’ve known online or in person. These were people who were/are harming others or themselves, which is something I’ve never known to be caused by a non-human identity. Yes, there are harmful people in the otherkin community, but that’s true of any community of a decent size, and as far as I’m aware, there are not enough data to conclude these harmful tendencies are caused by non-human identity.

We don’t bark at the meat at the grocery store. We don’t eat rocks (unless you count rock candy, because mmm, delicious). We don’t rub all over strangers’ legs wanting to be petted. We don’t try to breathe water (although it seems many people would like us to try...). I promise. Unfortunately, it’s tough to get others without the experiences we’ve had to understand what we mean when we say we’re a wolf or a mermaid, without tripping their “crazy person” alarm. It’s so frustrating trying to sound reasonable when talking about otherkinity, therianthropy, draconity, etc., because saying something like “sometimes I feel like I have invisible cat claws where my fingernails are” sounds like it’s coming from a nut job, even though phantom shifts are common and can be experienced by non-kin and otherkin alike.

On the internet, it’s hard for others to see how we function in everyday life, and I get the feeling anti-kin and trolls think everything we do throughout the day involves our kintype(s). Do they think we run around yelling at people for not addressing us as our kin/theriotypes? Do they think we eat birdseed out of other people’s bird feeders for lunch everyday? I don’t know, but it seems like there’s a lot of senseless hate based solely on assumptions. It can be easy for newly Awakened to obsess over their otherkinity because discovering your identity can be an earth-shattering revelation, but once you have to start dealing with (or are already dealing with) other things like learning to live on your own, starting a career, going to college, etc., focusing solely on your otherkinity is nigh impossible.

Anyway, I just really want non-kin to know that past all the misinformation and weird crap that gets passed off as factual, a lot of people who identify as non-human are what you’d likely call “normal” (maybe even people you know and love, and would never suspect as being otherkin). I also want non-kin to know that otherkin can have boring normal lives while still being otherkin, or can go on to lead successful lives without losing sight of their otherkinity.

Basically, our otherkinity is part of who we are, but it’s not all we are. It doesn’t take a “crazy” person to identify as non-human.

Native Species

Originally posted: June 4, 2018

I was walking alone in the woods yesterday after a morning of bird surveys and I started to muse about the fact that although I've always felt quite comfortable in nature, that as a dragon, I feel completely out of place walking through the forest or stomping around in the fields. Honestly, I think one of the biggest recurring stumbling blocks I’ve experienced with my identity is the fact that as a biologist, I’ve never been able to imagine myself as a dragon in a natural setting, without feeling entirely out of place.

Is a dragon not just another animal? Then why should it feel so alien to be in a natural setting? I think in the back of my mind, I’ve always subconsciously used this as an excuse to laugh off and discount my identity. Even the massive elephants and vibrant birds somehow look natural in their native habitats. So how come I don’t?

It finally, after years of feeling this way, dawned on me why I don’t feel right in nature in a form that to me should feel more animalistic and natural: I’m looking in the wrong place. Dense forest is no place for a dragon of my build. I should be above the treeline in higher altitudes, not bumming around in the lowlands. My natural habitat is on dark craggy cliffs without twigs and tall grass to get my wings caught on.

Will I ever be able to find the perfect house on the perfect mountain, where I can explore and hike and finally feel natural, while still being close enough to civilization to live comfortably in my human moments? Probably not. But maybe I can find a field job somewhere or vacation to a place where I can finally be home for a little while.

On Collecting Treasure

Originally posted: March 2, 2020

*Adapted from this Tumblr post

I was asked recently why dragons are often associated with treasure and treasure hoarding, and why it seems that dragonkin frequently pick up hoarding or collecting objects (usually crystals or rocks) as a hobby. Unfortunately, I don’t know that much about draconic lore (but I really should learn!), but dragons collecting shiny things or treasure is certainly a common theme in most stories or other pieces of media I’ve encountered that involve dragons (although not all…or at least it’s not mentioned). I'm sure the reasoning varies from dragon to dragon, and this is all conjecture on my part, based on what I feel and other opinions I've encountered. Here are some possibilities:

• If you think about dragons as an animal, it may just be a similar behavior to what we see in some bird species, where they are attracted to shiny or aesthetically pleasing materials, whether that’s personal or for mate attraction. As a biologist/ecologist, I think about where dragons would fit in the animal kingdom far too often, and I’m generally of the opinion that they’d fall somewhere off the bird/avian dinosaur clade, and would therefore probably exhibit some similar behaviors. Collecting objects for mate attraction or personal aesthetics seems completely reasonable, and considering dragons are often thought of as intelligent beings, a penchant for investigating new items and collecting things just for decoration/fun doesn't seem out of the question.


• Dragons are often associated with magic, and depending on the magic practice, crystals and certain minerals are used to channel and/or store magic. In this case, all these rocks and crystals may be somehow associated with whatever magic a dragon is doing, or will be used for something of that ilk in the future.


• Some folks feel dragons eat treasure, although why, I don’t personally know...I'm not a treasure eater myself. There are three general categories I feel like hoarding treasure for consumption could fall under:


• Food


• If this is the case, a collection of treasure could just be a food cache, where dragons are going out and collecting treasure to eat later when food might be scarce. I mean, rocks and metals don’t really go bad like human food does, so hoarding treasure seems reasonable if it’s going to keep indefinitely.


• Essential vitamin or mineral source


• In nature, we occasionally see animals going to certain mineral-rich areas to consume the clay or other rocks/soil there (I crave that mineral meme, anyone?). Eating these non-food materials can provide essential nutrients that would be hard to find elsewhere, or, in the case of clay, may prevent animals that have eaten toxic plants from getting sick, while still allowing them to digest the toxic food they've eaten. Somehow, rocks, gems, and precious metals may have some dietary benefit, and that's why some dragons may go out of their way to collect them for consumption later.


• Digestion aid


• Finally, rocks and gems may be consumed as a digestion aid. For instance, we know crocodiles and some birds will eat stones or grit to help them digest the food they've eaten, so consuming rocks and hunks of metal may not be out of the question in this regard.


• Or maybe we just wanna be rich, baby. 😎

These aren’t mutually exclusive explanations, but for me at least, I definitely fall into the first camp (although being rich would be nice too!). Surrounding myself with aesthetically pleasing items makes me happy, and the process of finding something pretty/interesting that I feel is high enough quality to keep is exciting. I’m extremely visual, so populating my environment with shinies is important to me, and as a result, I have lots of monetarily valueless rocks that just look nice or have an interesting story associated with them.

Psychological Otherkin

Originally posted: August 24, 2017

*Adapted from Psychological Otherkin ≠ Copinglink

From what I’ve seen in my time in the otherkin community, a majority of otherkin identify as some variation of spiritual otherkin, which is all good and spiffy, but I get the feeling psychological otherkin are left out of the conversation a bit more than we’d like, and there seems to be a decent bit of confusion over what psychological otherkin are. So, as a psychological otherkin myself, I’d like to put psychological otherkin in the spotlight.

First of all, I think it’s important to point out that psychological otherkin is not another term for copinglink. A copinglink is an identity consciously chosen as a coping mechanism for mental illness, trauma, or other stressor. Psychological otherkinity is simply a hypothesis as to why one identifies as non-human, and, just like spiritual otherkinity, is not a consciously chosen identity. Some folks attribute their otherkinity to abnormal brain wiring, the unconscious result of mental illness, imprinting on a non-human at a young age, or other psychological cause. Do we necessarily know our hypotheses are correct? Not really, since it’s hard to prove any of these hypotheses without solid scientific research, but otherkin science may be a long time off still, so I’m personally happy to say “eh, I probably just have a weird brain”, and be done with it until we have more opportunities to learn about ourselves.

I’d also like to point out that psychological otherkin ≠ mental illness, as the two are not mutually inclusive. One can be a psychological otherkin and not be mentally ill.

Anyway, I certainly can’t speak for everyone, but as a psychological otherkin, I experience my otherkinity just as any spiritual otherkin does, but with a different explanation as to why I identify the way I do. My identity isn’t and never was voluntary, nor did it manifest as a way to cope with mental illness or uncomfortable situations. I experience phantom and mental shifts, I have a mental image of what I should look like, and I have habits and preferences I attribute to my draconity. Why do I identify as psychological instead of spiritual, if our experiences are similar? Well, for one, I’m not particularly spiritual or religious and I experience a few brain-weirds that don’t fall under mental illness including a couple kinds of synesthesia and mild misophonia, so I don’t think going a step further and saying my draconity is a part of these brain-weirds is too farfetched.

Really, the only notable difference I’ve seen between myself and how many spiritual otherkin experience their otherkinity is the absence of past life memories. Because I believe my draconity stems from a psychological cause, and not reincarnation or a misplaced soul, I don’t have any past life memories, nor do I feel like I was non-human in another lifetime. I’m just me, here and now, with a strong desire to be something I’m not.

Respectability

Originally posted: July 19th, 2019

Pretending that everyone in the ‘kin community is perfectly normal and that their non-humanity is only something on the side that doesn’t affect them is one, a lie, and two, really toxic to those in the community who don’t fit the bill of a “normal person”, whatever that may mean. It’s stifling, and it’s a shame that it’s cringy to howl in the forest at night, to wear gear, and to acknowledge cravings or urges that aren’t remotely within the realm of human normal. It’s extremely unfair that we should feel the need to sugarcoat the less normal parts of 'kinity, both within the community and to curious or ridiculing outsiders. Yet, I know I’m blatantly, embarrassingly guilty of this. At any rate, talking respectability politics has reminded me that it’s alright for me to enjoy my non-humanity. It’s so freeing and even empowering to feel okay doing things that make me feel less human.

Ah, but a word of caution. Don’t confuse the push for the freedom to do these things if they make you happy and comfortable with needing to do these things to fit in with the otherkin community. Maybe this point is obvious to everyone else, but if I were to go back ten years ago and go through my intro to the community again, I for one would really balk at the idea of joining the otherkin community or exploring my identity if I thought everyone had to wear gear, mod their bodies to look more like their 'types, or be public with their identities to be accepted as a member of the community.

To be completely honest, I probably jumped at emphasizing this because I’m extremely conservative about even hinting at my identity to anyone. I’m happy to walk the human walk and talk the human talk at work/school/with friends and crouch on the floor and snarf down half a rotisserie chicken while I’m home alone. But, everyone’s unique and has different levels of comfort with and ways to express their identities. If you’re not comfortable or able to compartmentalize your identity, don’t! Express your non-humanity how you see fit! You can still live in human society and follow your dreams while being public with your identity. Yet, if keeping your identity completely private is the only thing you’re comfortable with, don’t feel like you need to show it to others, whether they’re 'kin or not.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to experience your 'kinity. Be silly with it, be serious with it, express it, don’t…do whatever makes you comfortable, whether you’re new to the community or an elder greymuzzle or old fruit. That being said, don’t feel like you can tell others how to express their identity either, especially if they’re not hurting anyone. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to find a home in the otherkin community. Be yourself, whether that’s appearing human or not.

Theriomythic

Originally posted: April 3, 2018

I wish theriomythic was a more popular term. I find it to be particularly useful because it bridges the therian and otherkin communities, while emphasizing that there are clearly differences between the communities, and allowing otherkin who don't really identify with the frequently metaphysical and fantastical otherkin musings to explore a more animalistic side of their identity.

I think one of the reasons I like it so much is because the term really resonates with my experience as non-human. I entered the online alterhuman community by way of personal therian websites, and I spent a few years reading primarily therian essays before moving on to draconic or general otherkin sites, and my time reading therian materials heavily influenced my views on my identity. Because of this, I feel far more at home in therian circles than I do in strictly otherkin circles, even more so if there are psychological therians present. I think one of the things that turns me off from draconic and general otherkin discussion is that so much of it is focused on past lives and world-building, and less focus is on feelings and experiences in this life as a non-human in a human body. I forget who, but someone recently put remembering past lives as a therian as "not particularly interesting", considering few groundbreaking and earth shattering things happen in the day-to-day life of a squirrel, hawk, or sea-slug, and I think as a result, even with spiritual therians, there's less focus on what was and more on what is. Considering I'm of the belief that my identity is psychologically based, hearing endless talk about past lives and soul swaps doesn't do much to get me excited, while hearing accounts of how therianthropy or otherkinity affects life as a human piques my interest far more.

There's so much crossover between communities now that therianthropy and otherkinity have started to go mainstream (certainly there's always been crossover between communities, and indeed that's where the term theriomythic originated, but this amount of crossover is far greater), and I think the communities are shifting to a more otherkin-esque outlook on identity, complete with a heavy emphasis on past life memories and magic. This is fine, but I feel this takes away a bit from the psychological members of the community and those who don't have past life memories, either because they don't remember, or that they simply weren't worth remembering.

Perhaps I'm giving theriomythic too heavy a meaning, maybe because I'm nostalgic for the days I was just discovering the therian community and reading the then earth shattering revelations and experiences written down for me by older therians, but I think it's really worth bringing it back. It hearkens to a time when interaction within the communities happened primarily on forums and was more about substance and community than aesthetic. For me, theriomythic is a term and a feeling. It cries "my species may not exist, but I too am an animal and I can bear my teeth with the best of them". It brings down the mighty dragon to a lowly beast as ordinary as a field mouse. It says "I am an animal, and no manner of myth or story-telling can change that". I am a theriomythic, an animal as ordinary as the next, except for the fact that my kind doesn't exist.

What's it like being a dragon?

Originally posted: April 28, 2015

So, what’s it like being a dragon? I could write novels upon novels about this, but I’ll save you the time and try to keep it short.

The classic image of a western/European dragon is one of evil, fire, rage, and greed; of kidnapping princesses and hoarding treasure. The classic western dragon burns down villages and slays heroic knights as a hobby. It is cold-blooded, vile, and destructive. But draconity is not about that. In fact, it’s not about any of those things.

When I feel the most draconic, I don’t want to burn down villages, steal treasure, or kidnap anyone. I don’t feel the need to challenge knights in shining armor, nor do I feel the need to eat little children. I like gold and gems, sure, but my affinity for precious metals, gems, and knick-knacks is likely not even a draconic trait, and it baffles me why so many newly awakened dragons feel the need to start hoarding every shiny thing they see. I thoroughly enjoy collecting rocks on the beach, going to gem shows, and buying tiny animal figurines, but I don’t have a giant hoard, nor do I sit atop it and challenge anyone who comes near it. No, draconity is not about that.

Dragons are often shown as powerful creatures in the books, games, and movies. Nearly every fantasy game end-boss I can think of is some sort of massive dragon-like creature. I don’t doubt that many dragonkin would like to see themselves as powerful or not-to-be-trifled-with (myself included). Yet, even though I’ve longed to be a dragon for almost two decades, I do not want to proclaim from the rooftops that I’m a dragon and that all should bow before me (in fact, I’d prefer those around me not know about my draconity at all). I do not want slaves to wait on me hand and foot, nor do I want to be the supreme ruler of anything. No, draconity is not about that.

What IS draconity about, then? Draconity is an animal inside that cannot get out, a longing for a place I’ve never been, and the need to do things I cannot do. Draconity is confusing, frustrating, and isolating. Draconity is waking up in the morning in a body that doesn’t fit right and doesn’t move like it should; a body that is missing parts and is misshapen and uncomfortable. Draconity is lonely because to tell someone you are a dragon is to get laughed at and whispered about. Draconity is agony when nothing helps calm the animal inside screaming to get out.

Draconity isn’t cute or fluffy, despite what social media has to say about it, but it’s not all bad. Over the years, I’ve come to realize my draconity has enriched my life immensely. I lean much more to the scientific side of things (versus a more spiritual mindset), but exploring my draconity and reading what others have to say on the subject has made me understand how others see their draconity/otherkinity/therianthropy (as well as other aspects of their lives) as a spiritual thing. I think it has also made me more empathetic in regard to things that are not accepted as social norms, because feeling the need to be a dragon is in no way socially normal.

Exploring my draconity means exploring my mind and analyzing what I find, and as a result, I’ve discovered a lot about myself unrelated to my draconity, including the discovery that I’m intensely introverted, that I do not fit within the gender binary, and that I always need to be doing something productive to feel like I’m spending my time well. I’m a naturally artistic person, and I love to create, but I’m not typically very motivated to do so. My draconity has given me something I care enough about to clear my mental cobwebs and create things based off of my experiences. My draconity has pushed me to explore activities I likely wouldn’t have become interested in otherwise, like learning about animal anatomy, teaching myself how to cook a decent steak (still no luck there…), and napping on the floor in the sun (probably the best thing ever). I experience my draconity from a more animalistic standpoint (less "dragons as beings of magic and power" and more "dragons as just another animal”), and I think this view has pushed me to learn more about animal behavior than I would have otherwise. I’m sure it has affected far more aspects of my life that I haven’t discovered yet. Overall, it has helped construct who I am as a person, and despite the downsides, I don’t think I would give up my draconity if I ever had the chance.

Why I'm not a cat

Originally posted: August 28, 2017

Over the years, I’ve heard many an argument that otherkin, therians, and fictionkin are just overly fond of a particular animal, mythical creature, or fictional character. Sure, some non-humans are certainly very fond of their kin/therio/fictotypes, but that’s not the point. Liking a particular creature does not equate to otherkinity…in fact, it more closely aligns with other-heartedness than otherkinity.

To hopefully clear up some confusion, I’ll briefly detail why, despite my great love for house cats, I am not a cat therian.

In kindergarten, around the time I first began experiencing the first hints of otherkinity, I also discovered my fondness for house cats. I don’t know where the feeling came from, but I realized very quickly that I wanted a kitten. My mother was allergic to pets, and I realized this, but I kept asking and asking and asking for a pet cat. Finally, after months of me begging, my mother happened across a stray kitten near her office, and decided we could keep the cat for one week, and if she didn’t have an allergy attack, we’d keep it. Miraculously, my mom didn’t have an allergy attack, and we adopted the cat as our pet.

I loved this cat. She was a shorthair tuxedo cat, and despite only being 60% or so black, I named her Blacky. She was a grumpy old lady from the start, but my love for her was boundless. I brushed her, played with her, followed her around, dressed her up, and generally annoyed her. Being six years old, I copied her behaviors and pretended I was a cat too, and I occasionally even demanded that my parents fill bowls with dry cereal and put them on the floor for me so I could eat next to Blacky and get the full cat experience. I was completely obsessed. I had cat themed everything. I even went to a showing of the musical Cats, dressed up as Blacky.

As I got older, my obsession let up a little, but I was and still am in love with house cats, even though I’ve been bitten and scratched many times, and I’ve come to realize cats are really quite a destructive species, especially when it comes to birds (please keep your cats indoors, folks!). My partner is obsessed with cats the same way I am, so whenever my partner and I see cute pictures of cats, we act like complete idiots, because if there’s anything that makes me want to punch myself it’s so cute, it’s definitely a picture of a tiny fuzzy kitten. Anyway, to this day, whenever I see a friendly cat on the sidewalk, I take the time to greet it and pet it, and will sometimes even sit down with it for a few minutes, simply because I enjoy being around cats. I like and appreciate dogs, but I'm really not that interested in seeking out their attention. I might give a passing dog a hand to sniff or a nice pat, but my interest in being spending time with it really isn’t the same.

So, if I’m so obsessed with cats, why am I not a cat therian? The answer is simple: because I do not identify as a cat. I love them. I want to be around them. I want to adopt them and give them a good home. I’ve even had cameo shifts of cat ears and cat claws. But I do not feel I should be a cat on any level.

Let’s look at this from another point of view: why I identify as a dragon, even though I haven’t spent the last four paragraphs ranting about how much I love them. Since I was young, I’ve felt drawn to dragon characters and images, and I always found drawing dragons exciting and fun. I have some personal belongings with dragons on them, and I have a number of books featuring dragon characters. However, I am very, very tired of dragons. They’re absolutely everywhere. In books, in TV shows, in computer and video games…even in boardgames! Dragon art is posted so frequently online, that it’s hard to get away. But I can’t get away, because I’ve felt I should be a dragon for almost 20 years. I’m not particularly distressed that I identify as something that’s so commonly portrayed, but yet another dragon end-boss in the newest RPG or another drawing of a “cute” baby dragon generates very little excitement in my brain. Focus on mermaids for awhile or something, please.

Despite my apathy, I experience phantom and mental shifts as a dragon, I’ve picked up mannerisms I believe are draconic, and I feel very comfortable imagining myself with a dragon body. I’ve been waiting for years for a dragon VR simulator to come out so I can finally fly around (virtually) like I feel I should be able to. I can imagine myself as a cat, but there’s a certain alienness to attempting to feel like a cat that I don’t feel when I imagine myself as a dragon. It feels completely wrong, and despite having watched the way cats move and act for almost 20 years, I don’t quite understand how it should feel to be a cat. Granted, I can’t really know what a dragon moves or acts like because they don’t exist, but somehow what I experience as dragonkin is definitely dragon, and it definitely feels right. Dragon is me, I am dragon, end of story.

Rockhounding for Beginners

Originally posted: September 3, 2019

Hoarding treasure and shiny rocks is a stereotypical draconic behavior found in many books, stories, and movies. However, buying treasure (and even just nice mineral specimens) is expensive, and we're not all made of money! Fortunately, rockhounding (collecting rocks and similar items from their source) can be a cheap and exciting way to add some nice knick-knacks to your collection. For those of you who are interested in rockhounding (dragon or not!), here are some basic tips on how to find places to go rockhounding, what to bring, and how to clean up your specimens. Keep in mind I’m not a geologist, so all of this is what I would do personally!

Where to find rocks

• Mindat.org is an excellent website to learn about gems and minerals, and it also has a search feature and map so you can find your locality (or click on the localities tab) and look for good places to find rocks and gems.


• Also, a good old Google search may give you an idea of what’s in your area, whether that’s popular rock/fossil picking spots or a full on mine with tours and pay-to-dig mine tailings piles.


• A safe bet if you have access to a large body of water is beach combing. Wave action from the water will polish rocks and glass bits into nice sea glass and smooth, aesthetically pleasing stones. Road cuts through large hills can expose fossils and other fun stuff as well, but be careful of traffic if you plan to collect close to the road.

Getting there

• Some rockhounding places are straightforward travel-wise, but make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into! First and foremost, make sure you’re not trespassing! Some rockhounding areas (especially in the western United States) are on public lands and allow you to walk in, collect specimens, and leave without a fee. Private quarries and collection sites are another beast altogether, and make sure you have permission to be where you plan to collect.


• Second, some rockhounding places aren’t easy to get to! Many are easy access, like the on the side of the road or along a beach. However, some require hiking in to the site, while others are approachable by ATV or off-road capable vehicles. Make sure you know what the roads or trails are like where you’re going, and make sure someone knows where you are and when you plan to be back if you won’t have cell service!

What to bring

• If you’re just going out to the beach to look for sea glass, bring a bag for your rocks and maybe some water, and you’re good! If you’re looking to do something a little more adventurous, you may need a little more than this.


• Mines that are open to the public and allow people to dig at for a fee will often give you the tools you need, but if you’re self-guiding through a mine or a dig site open to the public, it’s not a bad idea to bring leather gloves for digging, a small trowel, and a rock hammer (a normal claw hammer will work in a pinch). A toothbrush or paintbrush and some water help identify and clean specimens so you can figure out whether they’re something you want to keep. If you plan to be breaking/hammering rocks on site for smaller specimens or to see what’s inside, eye and hearing protection aren’t a bad idea as well.

Safety

• For normal rockhounding adventures, this shouldn’t be an issue, but if you’re collecting near cliffs or in enclosed mines, be careful of cave-ins or falling rocks. Always, always, always look into a site online if you can and scope it out visually before you jump in for some good old rock scrounging.

Cleaning your shinies

• Sadly many specimens don’t look nearly as impressive right as they’re pulled out of the ground as they do when you’ve spent some time cleaning them. Cleaning is really material dependent, since some minerals can handle acid and pressure washing, while some are water soluble and can dissolve if you clean them too roughly. If you know what kind of mineral you’ve collected, usually a quick Google of “how to clean x mineral” or “how to clean x crystal” will give you some options.


• If you don’t know what you’ve collected, or you have something fragile like a fossil or sandstone, rinsing it with plain water and giving it a soft scrub may be as far as you can go. If you have more than one of a specimen type, you can use one as a tester and see how harshly you can clean it, and then be a little gentler on the other to keep it in tip top shape.


• Anything in the quartz family (amethyst, carnelian, citrine, etc.) can usually stand up to a good vinegar soak and iron remover solution or a round in a rock tumbler if you have access to one.

Will I actually find anything worthwhile?

• Obviously, museum grade specimens aren’t going to happen on every trip, but you can get some nice stuff with fairly minimal effort if you do a little research and take advantage of mines open to the public.


• Of the few outings I’ve done, I’ve gotten some cool stuff! None of it is likely worth much, but that’s not what I’m going for. I’ve put some of my favorite finds under the cut for you all to gander at if you want to see some of the fun stuff you can bring home!

Good luck and happy hunting!

Safe Meat for Carnivorous Kin/Theriotypes

Originally posted: July 12, 2019

Over on Tumblr there was a recent post (well, as of mid-2019) by necrophagist about more authentic ways to satisfy ‘kin cravings, particularly meat-related ones. Considering my kintype is an obligate carnivore, I think a lot about meat. Specifically rare muscle meat and organ meat. I’ve never really shared what I look for in a safe meat to satisfy my cravings, so I figured it was time to share the food I consider when I’m feeling shifty.

I’ve worked as a chef or some variety of food service worker for a good seven years of my life (although that doesn’t make me an expert), and this is what I generally regard as safe if cooked properly (note some of these cooking temps are lower than what the USDA recommends). I’ve included a note on each one as to whether it needs to be cooked prior to consumption. Remember, the less cooked an animal product is, the more likely you are to contract food poisoning/parasites. Usually a quick Google will give you a safe recipe for any of these foods. If you want tips on how to cook something safely, please send me a message!

The following list contains meat and animal products that are often easily accessible (i.e. I’ve found most of these at my local Walmart) in the United States, plus some less common ones. Please shoot me a message if you have any easily accessible meats in other countries that I haven’t covered.

Red Meat

• Beef liver - Cook


• If you eat this regularly, watch your vitamin A intake. Liver is extremely high in vitamin A, which accumulates in your body, unlike water soluble vitamins like vitamin C


• Beef tongue - Cook


• Oxtail - Cook


• Bone-in steak - Cook


• Ribs (beef or pork) - Cook


• Lamb shanks - Cook


• Beef soup bones - Cook


• Occasionally contain marrow…and often extremely cheap!


• Great for making bone broth


• Cured sausage - No cook


• Salami, pepperoni, summer sausage etc.

Poultry

• Chicken liver - Cook


• Like beef liver, watch your vitamin A intake if you eat this regularly


• Chicken gizzards - Cook


• Whole chicken - Cook


• Sometimes contains giblets like liver, heart, gizzards, and neck…check the packaging and it should tell you


• Skin-on chicken parts - Cook


• Peel the skin off, salt it, and fry it like bacon!


• Whole turkey - Cook


• Especially easy to find in the United States around Thanksgiving


• These will take multiple hours to cook, fyi

Fish

• Whole fish - Cook


• Make sure these are gutted before cooking


• Skin-on salmon or trout fillets - Cook


• Because these species have small soft scales, you can eat the skin, and it’s delicious if you fry it and salt it!


• Canned fish with bones and skin - No cook


• Anchovies, sardines, salmon, etc.


• Pickled herring - No cook


• Smoked fish - No cook


• Often salmon, trout, or whitefish


• Dried baby anchovies - No cook


• Usually sold at Asian food stores


• Raw, de-boned fish sold at sushi counters - No cook


• Fish sold at sushi counters is frozen at very low temperatures to kill parasites. Please let your grocery store/fishmonger do this step for you, as many home freezers cannot reach these low temps.

Other Animal Products

• Blood sausage - Cook


• Sometimes at delis or specialty stores


• Fresh pig’s blood - Cook


• Often at your local butcher if you have one


• Irradiated eggs - No cook


• These eggs are irradiated (it’s safe!) to kill any pathogens present in them


• Whole rabbit - Cook


• Often found at farmer’s markets


• Beef/pork/mutton organs - Cook


• Kidneys, brain, heart, trotters, tripe, lungs, etc. (often at your local butcher)


• Game meats - Cook


• Venison, wild ducks/geese/pheasant, elk, bear, etc.


• Sometimes sold in specialty shops, or buddy up to a hunter. Wild game isn’t screened for parasites like commercial meat is, so take extra precautions if you’re consuming wild meat.

Again, if you have any questions or want to know why I included/didn’t include something on the list, let me know! Stay safe folks.